Optimism never is an option with practicality. It’s only a mere hope of a miracle. Life is never meant to happen toll-free. Or someimtes you’ve have to fall the darkest pit before you find light. Conversations more often lead to distress than anything. Or maybe, it’s the not talking? Not speaking of what really one has to say?
Archive for July, 2007
Of times and to them!
I see a picture of us, and remember all the times from school. More often we’ve fought more than ever having the chance to talk sanely. To ever discuss things like adults. Perhaps that’s the friendship we share. The fun we have. I can’t say I don’t enjoy the chats. But we’ve never let each other know it either. It’s always an I’ve-called-to-irritate-you conversation, but perhaps I know secretly, that I call because I like it, and maybe you too. But there is nothing that will prove that, is there?
But if I was irritated with something else, would I still call you, expecting you to understand? I know, that whenever there have been times when I’ve expected things I’ve been let down. It never has been your fault of course. It’s just that every time I pile up thoughts, thinking of telling you about them, somehow the moment never comes. It’s always impulsively that we talk. If we have got rarely sane and mentioned somthing sentimental, it cannot be brought back the same way if brooded over too much. But sometimes, I wished we shared more. I know we’re both as similar when it comes to talking about ourselves. We might discuss the world a hundred times over, but what stops us.
Well whatever it is, I just don’t care. Hopefully things will stay the same. That ten years later, we’ll still argue the way we do now. About every petty thing. But I also hope that someday we can speak our minds, not talk as if we don’t mean a thing to each other. A third person would never think that, our conversations can’t seem to convey that…There are a million things I would want to tell you. About the way I feel, about why some things happened, but perhaps it might take forever for that moment. We might meet everyday, and yet still manage not to talk about things we need to. The things that should be known.
For now, I’m just happy you don’t read my blog. 
Snapped…
The power went off…But the conversation continued. And so did the arguments. Like, always. Somethings never change they say..
The first time that they met, seemed miles away, almost another world. But, there are always moments that life thrashes to your face. They’d talked about things in common, but still managed to argue over it all. It took a measly two seconds to jump the gun. Both ways. But, there was this special feeling they both shared. Something that kept them bonded. Still going strong.
Things that troubled weren’t discussed. But plain conversation made feel better. Some where in all the conversation, their hands met. They let it stay that way. Holding hands. A weird tension grew among them, but the level of comfort was higher. Blah blah,..the talks never ended.
Somewhere in the flow, she mentioned having a crush on him at a point of time, it was years after they’d first met, he’s confessed he had too. “Maybe I still….” “Shhh….let it just be…” He didn’t let her finish what she wanted to say.
Down the lane, it was perhaps the best thing to do then. They don’t know how it is now. Maybe considering the years, it had to be more than a crush. They were scared, young, and in love. They’d fight, yet confess their weirdest dreams. They perhaps shared a common one too. But, to talk…
The lights are out…they’re holding hands…contemplating.
What if….
To the non-existent!
There is so much to be said
Yet nothing to say
For fear to what will be led
Hoping everything’ll be okay
They hold on to every conversation like it is their last. There seemed to be something special for everything they had. Things could almost ruined. It takes a revelation to tell all. But it holds back, the sail needs to compass it’s own way with the wind it’s soul companion! Among the sea creatures, all her friends, she drifts alone!
Hold on…
If only some moments could be held on to… I’d like a time-stopper for a present. Could it have been a better day? To see your closest friend’s face zapped, tears rolling down. Even before she opened up to the surprise, for reasons her own.
I did relive the day I mentioned before. The same scenario with the bike, breaking all the rules. There is some satisfaction to be had, doing things illegally. We prepared her for the worst, and she had no clue of the surprise. She had had the most terrible day so far. Every single person had boycotted her, to join in the surprise stepping in I recall her words where she had said her whole life had taken another turn. It was the sexiest time ever! The chaos we went through, planning it all! Driving the city with the gang of friends. With little clue of where were heading off to. To say it was a fantastic day would be an understatement! Her popularity of course reached heights, where she just could not be caught at midnight. I’m doing a bad job of how I want to put this entire day through, more so becaus e I’m at a loss of words! Things quite fell into place. They just went with the flow, while we had our share of extended freedom as well.
The look on her face cannot be forgotten. She was about to walk into the room to let out what would perhaps have been tears of frustration, which took a whirlwind turn to absolute surprise! We’ve perhaps relived the moment screaming all day. Mot much was known of how much of a success the day would actually be.
I know I haven’t done justice to the post. Sorry Sheeb!
Hope you’ve had the most fantastic birthday so far!
Love, all of us.
To…
Sometimes I think I’ve lost you
Sometimes I think it’s gone
You’re sitting right in front of me
I’m wondering what went wrong
Would a conversation have made a difference
To what there is today
When now I feel all the diffidence
And everything feels astray
It should never have happened
We would still have been friends
Yet everything seems rapined
We only hope every talk blends
I never thought I’d lose you
If only I could’ve foreseen at all
I’d still prefer a friend to turn to
For each memory as small
While the Gods played…
It’s like a silent union parents everywhere have. Maybe all parents should have done psychology. To understand us kids… Somehow they just can’t seem to tolerate the otherwise noise as what it is to them, while for us heavy metal fans, it is sometimes more of an excuse of our mere survival.
It was a Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin documentary on VH1. And sleep was long gone, (Thanks to the unearthly hours of staying at home causing a completely turn of the biological clock, not that college does make much of a difference!) But no! Even at the lowest possible volume, a problem has to be had while the Gods played. This is what I come home for sometimes. VH1 and Travel and Living. But the pleasure cannot be had!
I got to watch Metallica’s though. But Black Sabbath!! Led Zeppelin!!
Oh mighty ones…Give me just another chance!!
You need coolin, baby, Im not foolin,
Im gonna send you back to schoolin,
Way down inside honey, you need it,
Im gonna give you my love,
Im gonna give you my love.
Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
Wanna whole lotta love?
On the road..In the rain…
I’d have liked to relived the day.I possibly did most things I’ve always wanted to do. Not done with the entire list of course, but a meagre few. Drving away right from in front of the cops, till us practising in a class room with the goonj of our voices all around.
No license. No helmet. No local registration. Trickys. And of course, not to forget the khatara bike itself! Cops all over. All over the place. While I was in fits of laughter trying to escape them, one in complete paranioa while the other just indifferent. There was so much nostalgia to every thing we did that day. Reminded me impulsively of junior coll where perhaps not a single day of class was attended!
It also been a really really long time we had sung together! And the voices just echoed all over. I should remember it as maybe the only reason we did go to college when we did.
And it hasn’t stopped raining since the time I’ve been back. I’d made up mind to manage to watch all the regional movies before I’d gotten back to gay-land. Of course though I’m attempting at my own sweet pace.
Biking, music and the friends, they make up for just the entire world. Most of the time…..it’s just the friends.
