Archive for December, 2008

Insane

December 22, 2008 at 10:09 pm · Filed under Days Of Our Lives, Random, Rant ·Tagged

I feel like I’m becoming a character out of a Jhumpa Lahiri novel. Caught between cities, ever confused about what I belong to.

There is only one thing I know I’m attached to. And, I think all girls eventually try to understand their moms. Or maybe, they just become them. The existence of such relationships leave me confused. Because what I believe in, I know they won’t even try and understand them, but then the things they’ve tried to teach me over the years, I’ve finally reasoned out not to agree with.

I think Hyderabad only leaves me depressed now. I have nothing to look forward to in this city. When I got onto the train, I held back. The minute we reached, I knew I never should have got on at all.

I want to go home, because my mom wants me home. But I don’t want to go home.

All this while I was okay with the course I’m doing. No more. And I don’t even know what interests me, or what might hold my interest long enough.

I’ve also lost all motives to do anything. I think that’s the worst that can happen. To lose drive to want to do anything! I want to look forward to something. Anything at all. Competitively. Not just do something because I have to be doing it. Even if it was want that drove me, it would seem good enough perhaps.

I hated the movie ‘Into the wild’. Last night my sickness only made me feel like that. And the more I thought of the movie the more the vomit would instigate. Eeyuck!

Right now I wait for four days to pass.

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Of times unknown

December 3, 2008 at 11:02 pm · Filed under Random, Rant

The end of the year reminds me all over of how I’d thought I’d give semester reviews which I’d postponed to doing yearly. And now I’ll probably end up doing at the end of the four years. It’s because the posts begin to write in my head and half way there they need to spill it out onto paper or some form of being recorded. Which hence end up just in the head.

I was reading emails from another lifetime. If they had picked up emails once, over time to see how people changed, they can be found in mine too. How I had also once begun with the whole ‘lolz’ (I hope I didn’t use the term even if I’d picked up the language!) and then moved on to framing sentences which made sense (Instead of ‘r u cuming?’) and then eventually using punctuation marks too. Using the internet is very similar to the blogging phases too, isn’t it?

All kids ought to be sent off for graduation, or they’ll remain just that for longer than most. Sometimes I find it difficult to relate with the people I knew back in Hyd once upon a time. Another world can’t be blamed if you haven’t attempted to exist there, can it?

Illustration – just beginnning.  Semester V – A fortnight to go!

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