Twenty Ten. I’m looking for the appropriate words that might describe this year. It isn’t the words that are stopping me here. It’s more so the emotions. It has after all been that kind of a year for me. The heterogeneity of emotions that I’ve gone through in the last eleven months has so often left me in thoughts of alternate realities, that I feel I now just live in another universe altogether. I now live in a paranoia that life doesn’t exist. Or rather, it never did.
We all appear to be heading to an Orwellian society. We’re conditioned to living life the way we’re supposed to, so much that freedom of thought ceases to exist. It is only the rare epiphany that brings you to often believe in the larger reality of life. How many of us actually live with the freedom of liberated thought. To each of us, our sources of governance are different but they still do exist at the end of the day. We’re dying to make the world one. The same. At least we are working towards that.
Over the last three months my mind has been like a sponge. Taking in everything around me. It has also to do with the people around me, as part of the program. It makes me realize there’s SO much to do. And the first six months of this year I’ve been worrying over nothing. It all seems futile now, to have spent time in believing you were turning insane. Even if you are, you might as well spend the period of sanity making sense of most around you. Or the perspectives to it. Unfortunately there always will exist phases where all logic will fail fear. No one can talk sense into you until you choose to believe the other standpoint of it all. It is always choice. But more often it is the emotion that precedes the state of mind to choose.
December 9th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
“So many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Venom had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.”
“Ever drifting down the stream — Lingering in the golden gleam — Life, what is it but a dream?”
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, you need to read some Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. You’ll really relate to it.